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What Do I Have But A Memory? What do I have but a memory? What do I have but a memory? What do I have but a memory? What do I have but a memory? What do I have but a memory? -Stacey Tobey
My Beloved Matty, I have been writing you for some time now, but felt I would be remiss if I did not include a note on your preferred medium. What can I say that you don't already know? I love you dearly, and have felt blessed every day since we fell in love. How I came to deserve your love I will never be able to comprehend. It is so sad that so many of our dreams will never be, but what joyous times we had. Not a day went by that you did not show your devotion, be it with small acts of love, such as always offering your coat when I was cold, larger acts of love such as returning to finish the last part of a triathlon at my side after having already finished the race yourself, or unimaginably large acts of love, such as returning home for a few hours in the middle of an all-nighter at work to tuck me into bed, to tell me that you loved me, and to wait until I was asleep to return to work. You are my soulmate, my best friend, my lover, my fellow freak behind (usually) closed doors. You are my inspiration, my hope, my strength, my comfort ... even now. You are beautiful to me and always will be. I would trade places with you in a heart beat, but in the end we would still be apart. So if we must be separated, it brings me peace to believe that you are in a better place. Go with God, Matty. I look forward with anticipation to the time when we will be together again, and when the angels finally come for me I know what I will tell them my favorite thing on this earth was, it was you. 742, Dar
Tribute to Matt Dear Matt, My goal was to write this on Mother's Day - I'm only a week and a half late! I know I will always be your Mom, and for that I shall be eternally grateful to the One who gave you to us. Indeed I feel so very blessed to have had you for 30 wonderful years. Even that Mother's Day when you were 6 and that giant police officer Alan Kirk drove up in the driveway with you in his squad car. You were busted for shoplifting ELEVEN boxes of "Space Dust." When I asked incredulously how you planned to get them out of the store, you answered "I was going to ask them for a bag." Those memories can never be taken away from me. Having read the many awesome and often humorous tributes, and having heard the numerous stories from people who I have known a long time and others I have just met since March 12, I feel so very honored to be your Mom. I didn't fully realize until now how much you inspired and strengthened others with your enthusiasm, encouragement, compassion, sense of humor and selfless sharing of your talents and gifts. You did all this with such grace and humility. I knew you did all the above for me, but that was to be expected - I'm your poor, helpless, old Mom! It's kind of ironic to learn all this now, but I can't say I love you any more. However, I might be just a little bit prouder! I wish I could say you got some of those positive attributes from me, but it looks like you just took over from where your dad left off. I have benefited myself from your extraordinary ability to motivate, going back to when you ran the 2nd half of my only marathon with me when you were only 11, cheering me on for over two hours. When you advised me on the new printer only a few weeks before you left us, and were happy that you could "actually do something to help" me, did you really not know what a rock you have been for me, especially the last six years as "man of the house?" You have ALWAYS been my pride and joy. When you decided to spend your life with Darlene, I was so thrilled! I was only apprehensive because I was afraid she would find out what a goof-off you can be, then realized that's part of what endeared you to her. I can't imagine having a more wonderful daughter-in-law. Knowing the pain she feels now is what breaks my heart most of all. So please keep watch over her in spirit. I hope I can honor your memory by doing the things you encouraged me to do Ò for example in the near term by being part of Team 2002. Can you still help my chances from where you are? I have heard SLOC listens to your advice! It's going to be a mighty empty and lonely life for the few of us Walters' left. But we will try to let our memories sustain us. Karina said it will be really hard to condense what you mean to us and to do you justice in just a few paragraphs. But I have made my feeble attempt. Godspeed and save a seat for me! All my love, Mom
Steve Myers' sharing at Matt Walters' Memorial Service, March 23, 2001 Normally for me and I'm sure for a lot of others, it's extremely intimidating to stand before a large group of people and give a talk, but the thing that is truly intimidating is to be able to find the words to talk about Matt in a way that does justice to the kind of person that he was, to the kind of character he had, and to the life he led. Matt was simply incredible. I came to Los Alamos in 1981 and I coached the Aquatomics. Matt was ten that year. I coached Matt through high school for seven plus years. I knew him as a coach and I know there are people in this room who knew him in a huge variety of ways - as a friend, a relative, a co-worker. But I know a lot of us are going through the same things I am going through. I feel badly, I feel shock, I'm having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that somebody who seemed so indestructible, so life force positive, so filled with all the good things we all strive to be, can be gone. Matt was just entering the prime of his life. Like a fine wine, he was just getting better and better with age. And it's just really difficult to get our hands around that. I hope through talking to each other we can just rally around each other and work with each other to get through this. I'd like to talk about some of the qualities Matt had as a swimmer that made him the outstanding person he was. The doctors tell us that Matt died from having a greatly enlarged heart. I'm here to tell you that was true, both literally and figuratively. To know Matt was to know that he had a huge heart. He had the ability to inspire all those around him. He was one of the most natural born leaders I ever met. He was just 10 years old at that first summer's long course state meet, at least it was the first for me, and the older kids came up with a Max cheer: We've got Max, yes we do. We've got Max, how about you? That's how much even at the age of ten, Matt inspired even those who were older than he was. He was a rallying point. He was like a mascot back then. Matt was incredibly competitive. He absolutely hated to lose. He didn't lose very often, but sometimes occasionally someone would beat him and that was usually that swimmer's undoing. He would set his sights on that kid, go back and practice and work his tail off, and go back and beat that kid. Yet another one crossed off his list. Ultimately he wound up being the best swimmer in the state. His competitiveness was contagious. In high school he wasn't afraid to show how much he wanted to win. How much it meant to him to be a great swimmer, how much it meant to him to be part of a great team. A lot of kids of high school age they want to be cool. They want to be like "Oh yeah, no big deal, it doesn't matter." But to Matt it DID matter. Matt was able to stand up and say that. He had a lot of courage in that way. He wasn't embarrassed by how he felt. He was proud of it, and that was contagious to everybody who dealt with him. Matt was simply the toughest work out swimmer I've ever coached. I remember a number of times (this is going to sound really gross) that after Matt finished a really tough set, he would puke in the gutter. And that wasn't just once or twice. Matt routinely pushed himself to that level. He challenged me to be a better coach because I had to find ways to get this kid tired. I could give him all sorts of stuff and he would just chew it up and spit it out like it was nothing. In fact I remember during the easy parts of the year when Wally would come and complain to me and say "You've got to start working my son harder because he's bouncing off the walls and driving me crazy." I understand that at TCU he won an award called the Tough As Nails award. I don't know what that award was, but I have some idea, and I would personally be shocked if Matt hadn't won that award. He was that tough of a swimmer. We used to do something called "swimmer's choice 25," where we'd do one 25 for the number of kids in the water. A swimmer got to choose the stroke and the whole team had to do that stroke. Matt always chose fly because it was the toughest stroke. But he was so inspirational that believe it or not, even though this was a pool filled with 9, 10 and 11 year olds kids, before long half the kids chose fly because Mad Max was telling them, "Come on, do butterfly, we've got to do butterfly, more butterfly!" He had that impact, even at that young age. Matt also had other interests in life. He liked to do other things to have fun like ultimate Frisbee and rock climbing and he was also a good student. He started out in special ed and in spite of that, as a senior in high school he graduated in the top of his class. He received Bachelor's and Master's degrees and had excellent grades all the way through. He had a lot of pride in the fact that he was more than just an athlete, he was more than just some stud. When I talk to other people about Matt and ask them what they remember, immediately a smile comes to their face. They can't think of which funny story to tell about Matt first. Most of those stories we cannot tell in a church. When I asked Susie Schillaci what she remembers about Matt, she said, "Matt was hysterical." One summer when he worked at East Park Pool, the older staff members, about 19 or 20, corrupted the young Matt Walters. They just did hysterical things together, not any I can repeat. Amy Henninger remembers his voracious appetite. He could just eat enormous amounts of food. She reminded me of the summer when he entered a pie-eating contest. He had a truly formidable opponent, Chris Shannon. Matt was determined to win. He came from behind and beat out Chris at the very end. Matt was hysterical as he described the great technique he used to win. Darrik Stafford remembers the time in a hotel on a swimming trip to Los Angeles when Matt locked him out of the room in the hallway. Darrik was naked and only had a sock with him. I hope he used that sock judiciously. Dave Motley reminded me of their initiation to the high school team when the 8th graders were forced to stand up in a packed Furr's cafeteria and sing "Happy Trails to You." Of course, Matt being the leader, he was forced by everyone to sing the lead of "Happy Trails" while the rest stood in the back and hummed. On the way home on the bus, it was the tradition to do really gross, disgusting stuff. The general consensus was that Matt set a school record for having the most crap poured down his pants in school history. The funny thing was that Matt was so proud of that. I'm sure there are a lot of other stories we can tell about Matt in due time. I understand that some of his former teammates from Texas Christian University are here. The fact that some of those people have come such a long way speaks volumes about the kind of influence Matt had on people's lives. Matt did have a strong impact on everyone and I'm sure they have a lot of great stories to tell, too. That was another part of his life that he was extremely proud of. I will point out that the majority of this year's high school swimming team are here out of respect for Matt and respect for his legacy. One of the things that Matt did care deeply about was his teams and the successes they had. And I know that nothing would make Matt happier than to know that someday the teams that we have now would rise up and be of the same quality that they were back when he was a swimmer. And I know that he would want to encourage all these kids to make sure that they understand that great teams don't just have fast swimmers on them but that they have great people on them who have great leadership, great commitment and great enthusiasm for what they are doing. And that's how they can rise to the top and do the things that are special in life. Because of this, the Walters family has opened a fund at LANB for contributions to be used by the Aquatomics and I encourage everybody to help with that. I hope we can make good use of that and make Matt proud some day. The last time I saw Matt was over Christmas break. He was a month away from being thirty and I will say that he seemed very relaxed and content, confident, happy with himself, happy with his life. I know a lot of that contentment had to do with his wife, Darlene. He absolutely adored Darlene. He loved her so deeply and I know this is a tremendous loss for her. And as you can tell by the people who preceded me, he loved his family. He was so good to his mother and his sister, and I hope all of us recognize that we need to be part of helping these people heal, put our arms around them, to offer ourselves to them. On the positive side, he does get to see his father again and I can only think they are looking down on us now enjoying the company with each other. I want to finish up by telling how he got the nickname Max. Peter Gram gave it to him that summer when he was ten years old. Part of it was that the movie Mad Max had just come out. But actually the root of it came from the fact that Matt reminded him of a character in a children's book called "Where the Wild Things Are" and of course the character in that book was named Max. I'll read you the first couple lines. It went like this: That night Max wore his wolf suit and made mischief of one kind or another. His mother called him called him "wild thing" and he was sent to bed without getting any supper. Matt Walters was a wild thing and we are all going to miss him very, very deeply. Steve Myers former LAHS Swim Coach Matt, Buddy I can not believe I'm writing this. This was not the way we planned things at all. We've grown up together since we were small boys going to Indian Guides with our Dads. I can remember just like yesterday walking to school and seeing you go by in the back of the "Short Bus" (Matt had an anger mgt problem when he was small) : ) Later as we got older we were lifeguards for more summers than I can count working at East Park Pool in Los Alamos. Man we had some stories there. Late nights at the pool with all our friends, seeing you flash the "batwing" as you flew off the diving board, Escaping for Golf in the afternoon with the Mot Man. I wont even mention the streaking through Rancho De Chimayo Resturaunt incident. I was thrilled to say the least when I was able to recommend you to my company and get you set up working at the Olympic Committee in Salt Lake City. I was so happy to have one of my old buddies working with me and it was great to get to see you several times a year up in Seattle. Seeing you hold my baby daughter McKenna was so rewarding to me. She just lit up every time Uncle Matt came to our house. I was so happy for you and Darlene when you guys got married. I could tell how much you loved her and how much she loved you. I was so looking forward to the day we all planned for when we would be living on some Golf Course back in NM or Colorado, where you you and I would be hitting the links while mom and the kids played at the pool. We always talked about someday (after we made our millions) opening up that sports bar and grill... remember the "WALL BURGER"! Thanks buddy for all the crazy memories. You made me laugh, drove me crazy with some of the things you did and in the end you were more like brother to me than just a best friend. I will miss you buddy more than words can possibly express. You taught me to live life to the fullest and always have a happy outlook on life. I will treasure your memory for the rest of my life. Your Buddy Forever! Rick Wangen (friend since childhood)
Matt aka Wally, aka Putz/Yutz For the past twenty years the Motley's and Walters have basically been one family (and yes that includes you as well Dar). Matt pretty much cemented his status as family member when he started leaving the bathroom door open at the Motley house while making "deposits". Matt and I were brothers in arms (and I mean that both literally and figuratively). What can I say about those 20 years except we went through quite a bit together: German class skits, mooning the teachers, co-captianing swim teams, owning fantasy golf teams, serious beer drinking (and subsequent puking), playing football in the street against the big fellow and the marine, all day basketball sessions, sprite funneling through my nose, calling Wally a "bald eagle", toga parties, midnight EPP cover running (with GJP, Pudley and Wang) gratuitous nudity at the horseshoe pits, driving to Aspen with the indestructible desk in the back of the Mitsubishi, bachelor parties at TD's, wedding receptions at Fuller Lodge, and of course some hideously poor golf (and those tevas that you insisted on playing in, that smelled worse than your common sewage dump). I miss that toothless hillbilly grin and our standard 2-3 line competely irrelevant emails. I have never been one to overly express my emotions and I have been struggling with an appropriate way to end this email. I believe a quote that the Yankees inscribed to Lou Gehrig, best sums up what I want to say (I am taking the liberty of slightly modifying the quote). "Let this tribute be a written token Of lasting friendship's gleam And of all that I have left unspoken" Your friend.. Dave Motley (friend since childhood)
My name is Shannon and Matt's dad and my mom (Connie Liner Hardee) were first cousins. My grandmother is Alma Walters Liner and her brother was Wally's dad. They were all closer growing up than Matt and I were. The only time I "met" Matt was as a small child. The reason I am writing this is to thank everyone for their memories and posting them. It gives me a look inside a part of my mom's family that I did not know. It was great to read about his accomplishments and the obvious love he gave to many people. I know this is a family trait that he carried on quite well. Matt and I were the same age, and I try to live each day to the fullest, knowing that God can come at any time to take me to a better place. Shannon Hardee Rolin
"I think that you told my mother that You believed that I had a crush on Matt when I was younger. Honestly, I can't imagine anyone NOT having a crush on him. Matt was unfailingly kind, always good for a laugh . . . There is one memory that I carry with me always. It was my 15th birthday (on December 25th) and it seemed as though everyone had forgotten. It was a bad day. I had argued with my father over the shoes that I was wearing to church, etc, etc. Matt was an acolyte at the midnight service that Christmas Eve, and as he handed me the candle for the final hymn, he whispered, "Happy Birthday." That will always be the memory that I have of your son." - Maria Huff
"We felt as though Matt was part of our own family. We shall always be grateful for knowing him, for loving him. May you find comfort in knowing that he continues to be an inspiration i the lives and hearts of those he touched." - Marc and Susan Bailey
"Matt was such an inspiration to me over the years. . . . I want to continue with coaching swimming and I want to do it in Matt's name. If I could make a difference in one person's life like he did in mine, I feel my life would be a successful one." - Jake Bailey
"I always looked up to him. . . his memory will live on in the hearts of those he touched. . . .he will inspire me to live everyday to the fullest. Thank you for sharing him!" - Michelle Bailey
"He was a true role model for me. He was the one who inspired me to start swimming, which was one of the best things I've done." - Matt Bailey
"We remember him as a faithful acolyte at Trinity on the Hill from so many years ago. He was a special friend to Ned as Ned began high school, another "big brother" whose friendship meant so much to Ned. We remember the happiness we saw on Matt's face on his and Darlene's wedding day. In fact, Matt seems to be ever smiling inour memories of him. How he enjoyed life and people." - Stan and Joan Brown
"I remember all those fun and fond memories of us at all the swim meets, swim practices, school, trips, etc. Matt is a special friend to me and helped me to have fun, laugh and be thankful. Now that God has chosen Matt to join Him, I know he will continue to guide us and be our angel in Heaven." - Patrick McLaughlin
"It's with a heavy heart that I write this note. Not only was Matt a difference maker, he was a gift, my friend. He will always be with us." - Ken Healy
"My most vivid memory of Matt is the amazing cannon ball dives he did during the Nuke 'Em team cheers - the water displaced was incredible!" - Nina Thayer
"When I think of Matt, the first word that springs to mind is happy. Such a happy, outgoing, enthusiastic and optimistic soul. My strongest memories are of Matt at the pool when our own kids were small. Back when the Kings were Peasants. When they were all in the snack bar and then guarding and eventually managing. He contributed so much to those around him and continues to shine; I can't believe that death can extinguish his wonderful light. It's intensity may be far from us now, but not forever." - Val Wood
"Matt's death leaves a huge void in the world - a son, brother, husband, nephew, friend and coach. He was a special young man who brightened up a room and inspired others to excel. Indeed, my life has been enriched by knowing Matt." - Carol Ann Martz
"The swim team families spent so much time together, we almost felt that all the kids were our kids too. Matt was outstanding - second to none in his intelligence and work ethic." - Janis and Lee Builta
"Matt was always full of joy and enthusiasm which was contagious. No one could stay "down" when they were around him. His teaching and coaching of the EPP Turbosharks was inspiring for all three of our children and fun for everyone to watch. He was a son any parent would have proud of." - Tom and Alice Wehner
"Matt was a friendly, energetic, capable young man. He and Darlene visited in our home on several occasions. And remember the beer-making episodes with Jeff and Matt at your house? We hope your many happy memories of your terrific son will help you through this incredibly painful time." - Don and Ellie Blossom
"It is so hard to believe that that handsome, funny, kind, bright boy that we met almost a year ago at the Marriage Encounter weekend is gone. He and Darlene added so much to the weekend. So many of us were old and they were so young. I watched the joy in their faces when we all renewed our wedding vows." Brad and Rozelle Wright
"We will remember fondly the conversation we had with Matt at Christmas as we lit luminaria candles at the church. He was so excited about his life and job in Utah. It was obvious he was doing something he loved. He was a fine young man and the world lost him too soon." - Walt and Charlotte Stark
"I know swimming was Matt's real sport, but of course I remember him from the cross-country team. I guess he could have quit cross-country and only done the sport he was a star in, but I thought it reflected his character that he stayed with cross-country even when it wasn't such a rewarding thing, and he never had the attitude that he sould be treated better because he was so good at swimming. So swimming maybe was where his talent showed, but cross-country was where his character showed. I am sorry that he is not here to be teaching that modesty and kindness to another generation. Please convey my sympathies to his wife also, but you are the ones I know as a family at Pace Races and Mini-Marathons, etc." - Karen Dahlby
"A smile comes to my face and heart when I remember Matt in the Parks & Rec programs when he was a little guy. He was a sparkly little fellow after my own heart, always figuring out how to do things his way. When I would see him here in LA he always would make sure to say hi, wave and smile. There is no doubt in my mind where he is now." - Peggi P. Vigil
"Matt was so lively, the picture of health, and most handsome. You were the perfect mother for him as he was extremely intelligent. He was the number one student of my class, not only in the academics but socially as well. He was caring and thoughtful of his classmates. He really lived a full life, young as he was. I was not surprised to read that he had an extraordinary gift of motivating others. He became the best in swimming but if he had more time he could have been super in the sciences too." - Mrs. Jean Nereson, Matt's 4th grade teacher at Mesa Elementary
"I came to know Matt best when he was a young adult. It ws a special joy for me that he did some tutoring at UNM-LA for awhile, for it was there that I began to relate to him more as an equal. On those occasions when our tutoring times overlapped and business was light, we would "shoot the breeze." I use that term advisedly, for one of Matt's great gifts was an unselfconscious naturalness around others because of his honest enjoyment of and interest in other people, regardless of their age. He always conversed with me as an equal rather than making me feel like an old fogy, middle-aged friend of his parents. And on the other end of the scale, he always treated John, six years his junior, without a tract of condescension, kidding around with him and encouraging him as if he were a brother. I suspect that it was at least in part Matt's example that helped John come eventually, to taking acolyting so seriously. Seeing that big, strong, handsome, fun-loving guy whom he so liked and respected up in the chancel serving the mass with unabashed dignity and obvious reverence Sunday after Sunday and realizing, especially as he observed Matt make a point of serving at special services when he was home from college for vacations, how much Matt valued serving at the altar had an important and lasting influence on John. One of my favorite recollections is of Matt and John acolyting together at a Christmas Eve midnight mass and lighting and extinguishing the candles and sconces at the beginning and end of the service. They did so with great precision and solemnity, subtly keeping track of each other's movements as they progessed towards the back (and, at the end front) of the church on opposite sides of the congregation. But of course, being in the choir and situated at the back of the church before and after the service, I got to observe the little smirks of camaraderie, amusement, and pride that were exchanged when they thought no one would be looking. I treasure that memory, as does John, and -- sigh -- I reaclled it to Matt and Darlene just this past Christmas Eve." - Karen Ingraham
Dear Matt, By now you are someplace far from here, where there is no street construction or infomercials or jug wine (though I admit, I drink jug wine and I like it). How does it feel to walk around barefoot all the time? To not have to wear a shirt in the middle of the day? I am sure the beer is good. I'm sorry about my workout being what it was...I guess this means you owe me a tough set when I get up there, but by then nothing will be too hard, so think of your best set. And you better be practicing your 50 free, as I will be down here. You beat me last time at Dimple Dell, but not by much, and you can bet I will be ready for you. And while you're at it, get yourself a new suit, that old one was getting a little thin. (Of course, suits might very well be unnecessary there too.) And I will never be much of a butterflyer, try as I might. So don't ask me to swim it much, I frankly don't care for it. You'll be happy to know that I did swim it today, but don't get used to it. I can, though, make everyone else swim it when I am coaching. Watching their legs drag, their arms turn to jelly, and hearing them complain, I will think of you. Who will make fun of my hairy body now? Oh wait, people have done that for a long time, but they are all in California. Maybe you can find a few people and, some quiet morning, whisper in their ears. Tell them it's okay, I didn't mind you calling me "Bear," and I always laughed when you growled at me as I walked on the pool deck. If they did it every once in a while, we would all laugh together. Anyway, it is Spring now and yesterday, being warm, I took my bike down from the hooks in my garage and rode around for a while, all the way downtown and then home again. Is it easier to ride uphill where you are, because let me tell you, it's no picnic down here. But I thought of you as I rode, the simple peace of moving, the pleasures of the sun on my back. Ah, you have that all the time now. I saw your face reflected in the windows of the cars whizzing past me, that same smirk as you pulled ahead. Find our friends, those who got there before you, and tell them we miss them (you'll know who they are). And know that we miss you too. Love, David McGlynn (swimming friend)
The ace (and only) pitcher for our softball team, we'll always remember Matt as No. 77 on the mound. There was nothing better than going out on the field behind Matt. Some innings when we couldn't get anybody out, Matt would get all three for us by strike out, infield pop and ground ball. Sometimes he even used his glove. Matt was an all-star in every sense of the word. His smile, boundless energy and joy for life at play and at work made him a treasure. His loyalty--as shown for TCU as the only guy in Utah with a "LT for Heisman" for bumper sticker on his truck--made him a true friend. He loved no one more than his wife Darlene. He often led the dugout in cheers of "Dar, Dar, hit it far..." When Matt and Darlene came to our wedding last year, we looked at them as the couple we would want to be. Today and every day, Matt, we'll miss you buddy... Frank and Heather Linhart Zang (co-workers and friends)
Always a cheerful friend who carried either his mug of coffee or handheld computer, which he loved to show off. Shocked the daylights out of me by popping out his front teeth. He had a wonderful sense of humor and told great dirty jokes. Exuded warmth, professionalism and kindness. He was truly one of the "good guys" that will be missed beyond measure. Michele E. Brown (co-worker and friend)
To Matt: Thank you for coaching us at QUAC, in particular for coaching some of the swim clinics at Steiner's. Not only did I learn how to breathe, lengthen the freestyle stroke with pronounced rotation, as well as getting the basics down in butterfly (your favorite), I also learned to be optimistic about progress in sports in general. Your undying spirit of devotion will always be on my mind. As tragic as your early departure was, I felt honored to be present when the entire swim team was crouched around you, begging you to stay...While they rushed you to the hospital, the pool became a quiet mirror because even the general public left, paying respect to an honored patron. Yet, I remember the good times: the QUAC garage sale in which you, Darlene, and your mom Kathy participated with zeal and laughter; the biathlon on a cold day in the outdoor pool; the jokes about swimming a 'straight' 200 yards, your infectious smile! My friends and I will miss you, Matt; we don't know why you were taken from us, but we'll leave that part in God's hands. Thank you for being a friend! Richard F. Goers (swimming friend)
Matt struck me as many things - a wickedly funny friend, a devoted husband, brother and son, an enormously hard worker and a natural teacher. Not a day went by that I didn't have at least one - more likely 50 - questions for him about how to do my job. And never once did he act like what he was - my superior, my boss. Instead, he worked amazingly hard to convey an air of equality, to convince me that we were peers. His infinite encouragement, sincere patience and boundless enthusiasm for the subject at hand made anything seem possible. I remember a conversation our team had with Matt about a week ago during which he was extolling the virtues of an employee of one of our partner companies. He described him as the "coolest, most even-tempered, laid-back dude" and seemed in awe of his composure and grace under even the most stressful situations. I was shocked at how seemingly unaware Matt was of the fact that this was exactly how our team viewed him! I still expect him to walk through the door during our daily staff meetings, keyboard and caffeine in hand, ready to do what he did best - make us smile. We all know we've lost a rarity in this world - someone who truly cared more for others than he did for himself, who always put a positive spin on a situation and who made everyone who was lucky enough to know him a little better simply by association. Valerie Adams (co-worker and friend)
Matt seemed to have all the time in the world. No matter how busy, he would always take a few moments to sit down and talk about his swimming, my running, and how we should train together sometime. Matt was, as we all know, an incredible athlete, but instead of talking about his achievements, he would compliment and encourage others. Whenever he was around, the day seemed a little brighter, and when he walked away, I always felt a little better. He seemed to have an endless supply of warmth, compassion and a sense of humor for each person he encountered, whether that person was a good friend or stranger. In October, several of us participated in a Torch Relay test event, in which we ran a fake torch from Park City to Vernal. But with Matt's exuberance, it seemed like the real thing. Every time he jumped out of the van for his torchbearer segments, he had some plan to make people laugh: he ran arm in arm with Cameron, a support runner; he danced Wizard-of-Oz style with me (also a support runner); with great drama he ripped off his pants, only to have shorts on underneath. And he was just about the funniest person I have seen under duress of limited bathroom breaks. He just kept us going, every minute. I am truly so sorry that Matt has no more time in this world. I will miss him so. Sarah Tuff (co-worker and friend)
Hello! When we prayed for Matt's soul at home, my 6 year old son asked me if Matt was the one who designed the memory game for him! Indeed, Matt was always happy to see my kids bursting in our shared cubicle and look at them playing this great game. He recently improved it to include a timer. http://slocdev.mn.uswest.net/memory/sloc_time.html I think it should appear on Matt's memorial site and as a memory of his great work and on the saltlake2002 site as well! I promised my son Timothy that I'll try to get a copy of the software as a souvenir. If you could forward it to me, he'll certainly appreciate it! Philippe Flichy (co-worker and friend)
I just wanted to say that I will always remember the way he teased and encouraged me to "come back to the pool!" It was so great to be able to chat with someone who's passion was mine, we both were butterfliers, me in my previous life. I remember when he won the 200 fly, we sat and looked at the web page together with all the results. He was so happy and I was for him! I will also miss our emails to each other. Whenever I needed his help or had a question we would banter back and forth in "Austin Powers" type lingo. His emails would always make me laugh! He was simply a good man and so filled with life. I will miss as will all of us! He was the best! Leslie Brog (swimming friend)
Matt and Darlene shared a love that we all strive to have in our relationships. They always laughed together and seemed to love being around each other. It certainly inspired Frank and I. Matt and Darlene shared with us a black and white snapshot collection from their wedding and said it is was one of their most dear treasures. They offered to take black and white snapshots for us during our wedding. And, we too, treasure the photos so much as they both caught so many moments and stories that we missed. We have included some of the photos on the website dedicated to Matt. Matt always made a point to stop and talk when we would see each other - even if he was extremely busy or late for something else. He always asked about our wedding planning stories and in particular if we were going to serve, "Little smokies in a crockpot at our reception." He said he wasn't sure if he could come, if little smokies would not be served. Curiously, I asked Dar about it... She said "Oh yes, Matt insisted that we have little smokies at our reception as they were his favorite thing to eat. He asked for so little so I thought I could let him have this..." Through the tears for Darlene and all those that knew Matt, I keep smiling at all the wonderful, kind things Matt shared with others. He always made me laugh and brought laughter - something that is becoming harder and harder to come by - to everyone he encountered. Heather Linhart Zang (co-worker and friend)
I became friends with Matt and Darlene playing softball for SLOC during the past two years. They were both so kind to me and made me feel a part of the group. It was obvious to all that Matt was a very talented, intelligent, and athletic person who always made people feel better about themselves. But more importantly, Matt had something that very few individuals have in this life. Matt had Dar. Here are two people who truly exemplified love, friendship, and companionship. Matt and Dar adored one another. It was so wonderful to see them together as a team. Of all the goals to attain in this life, Matt and Dar had achieved the ultimate goal of a loving couple. Though Matt is no longer with us in this life, his memory and example will continue on forever with me. As for Matt and Dar, they have a love that will last forever. Dar will hold on to that love until she is reunited with Matt again. I am so blessed to have known both of you and my prayers are with you. Troie Price (friend)
Although I only knew Matt since August, I can truly say that he is one of the most inspirational friends I've had. He was the one who initially encouraged me to join SLOC. I have never met a more motivated soul. He was a great mentor and I feel blessed to have worked under such a talented individual. Matt was kind, supportive, cheerful, and understanding -- even at 3:00 in the morning under stressful publishing deadlines! His energy was infectious and he challenged all those around him to strive for their best. He worked hard and played hard, yet still found time for his friends and his beloved wife, Dar. I am left with the desire to carry on his vision of helping to make our website the best there is. Matt wouldn't have settled for anything less. Tim Steele (co-worker and friend)
It was a privilege to work closely with Matt on a couple of projects. His enthusiasm, dedication, and intelligence made him an ideal person to work with. But more than these things, I will remember Matt for his sense of humor, overwhelming friendliness, and ability to spread his perpetually good mood. No matter what frustrations he might have been experiencing, Matt was always ready with a smile and a joke. I looked forward to walking over to his desk and joking around with him (I even looked for excuses to schedule meetings). I think Matt was always having more fun than the rest of us, and this rubbed off on the people around him. He was a great person to work with, and a great friend to me. Carlton Dunn (co-worker and friend)
I met Matt a year ago when I walked into Masters for the first time. Unlike most of the studly masters swimminers, I hadn't swum in college or high school. I was just an injured runner who thought that it was time for me to branch out and maybe try a triathlon. Matt greeted me that first day. I told him I was new asked him where the remedial lane was. He found a lane for me and told me that everyone was welcome and I shouldn't think of myself as remedial. Whenever I ran into him at practice he always asked me how I was progressing. On days he was coaching, there were times he would put a killer work out on the board. I would catch his eye and ask him to dummy it down for me. He would agree to modify my work out. Matt himself was an incredible swimmer with an incredible record. Even so, he used the warmth of his personality to encourage all levels of swimmers to take advantage of the sport. Martha Pierce (swimming friend)
A Higher Deck I was drawn to the pool for our Utah Masters workout on Tuesday morning. It was the one that Matt enthusiastically coached every week. He'd joke with me every workout about my poor kicking ability, but then make me feel special when he'd say "Now we know what we have to work on to make you faster!" I hypnotically swam back and forth, thinking of how I will miss my coach, my teammate, my friend. Then the sun peaked over the mountain range and its rays streaked brilliantly through the windows and into the pool. I thought to myself, "The sun WILL come up today. As it will tomorrow. And the next day. And Matt is there with me and the others in spirit, still enthusiastically coaching us, only now it's from a higher deck." We will all miss you, Matt. And I promise to work on my kicking. Monte Still (swimming friend)
I did not know Matt that well. He was a friend of my sister's. I got to know him through different parties, bbq's, and he would come and sub on our bowling team. The thing that struck me most about Matt was his need to get to know people personally and to make them laugh. He was always the entertainer and would go out of his way to make you feel comfortable and to make sure you were enjoying yourself. Cheers to a wonderful guy who is now a toothless angel!! Cyndy Esparza (friend)
I only met Matt once in person, over a couple of hours at a baseball game here in Seattle last year. He reminded me of my older brother -- outgoing, happy, interested in lots of things. The kind of person that makes you feel good just being around them. Although we met just that one time, over the past year or so working together on various SLOC projects and exchanging hundreds of emails and phone calls, I feel that I got to know Matt pretty well. It was through these conversations that I learned about Matt's family, the big wedding in NM, all the laps he'd put in over the years, his coaching with Utah Masters. Late one night a while ago, after talking about an event he was going to be competing in, I searched around the Web and found out about all of the awards he'd won and records he'd set. Not surprisingly, he never mentioned them. And that was Matt to a tee. I know too many people that are jaded and cynical about their work, their relationships, about life in general -- the polar opposite of how I would describe Matt. I only wish there were more people like him in the world. I feel very lucky to have met Matt. I will miss him. My heart and thoughts go out to his family and friends. Jeff Lewis (co-worker and friend)
I feel so lucky to have known Matt, to have worked with him, and to have enjoyed time with him and Dar. I think he was wise many years beyond his age and it showed on a daily basis. A great man in every respect, Matt inspired people around him to be their best. So with Matt passing on, I think a little of the best of all of us is lost too, because his life was a light that illuminated everyone's. Such a shame that light is gone-he burned so bright. I'm miss him very much. Ed Mitchell (co-worker and friend)
When trying to put into words how profoundly Matt touched everyone at SLOC, I have to go to a conversation I had with a friend on Monday when we heard the news. He said, "If I had to vote for the nicest person in this place, and there are a lot of very nice people here, there is absolutely no question in my mind who would get my vote... no question!". I'd have to guess that vote would be pretty close to unanimous. John Niovich (co-worker and friend)
Although I hadn't known Matt for very long, from the first minute he struck me as being such a genuine, talented, hard working guy. More importantly, he was incredibly down to earth and such a pleasure to work with, always carrying a uniquely refreshing attitude. Everyone here in SF has been really moved and saddened by the news -- we all thought of Matt as truly special. Please pass on our condolences to his wife and family. Jurgen Luwald (co-worker and friend)
To My Dear Friend Matt, I will miss you so much! I thank you so much for being in my life! I thank you for giving me (and every other girl) false hope when you started working at SLOC. Why? Because the first day you arrived you were not wearing your wedding ring. Nice move! I thank you for introducing me to your wife Dar! Thank you for sharing your love for Darlene with me. The two of you were so much in love. It always gave me such a good feeling to see you look at her, to talk to her, to treat her as you did. She will have a lot of challenges now without you but I promise you, I will be there for her when she needs someone! I promise! I thank you for letting me think we were going to have some good times! And then giving them to me! I just regret there weren't more! I thank you for making me laugh, to the point it hurt! You always made me feel good about myself. You were always willing to listen. You were always willing to help me out. Especially when I was scared to go to my 10-year high school reunion and you offered to be my date (even hold my hand once). I thank you for the night at Raskels when you showed Jilly and I your incredible dance moves. It's amazing what someone will do for a buck! I thank you for the 1998 Christmas party we had! Playing ÎDirty Minds', dancing to American Woman, the shots of 'Crystal Meth' (thanks Jason), the exchange of gag gifts. Only you... I thank you for the weekend in Jackson Hole when we all went river rafting. For singing in the truck with Brian and I to the songs of Grease! For falling out of the raft (I have this funny feeling you did it on purpose). For getting us in trouble in the camp area for being too noisy. I thank you for all the times you came bowling with us on Saturday's. Especially the times you didn't wear your tooth so you fit in with all the other bowling junkies. I thank you for spilling your drink in between my cupboards and my stove at my house warming party (I think it was you) - it will forever be sticky now! I thank you for the mark your shoe left on my banister from those incredibly famous dance moves! I thank you for the many tequila & lemon drop shots that night, the dancing on the stairs, the dancing on my coffee table and the many, many tears from laughing so hard. I thank you for being part of that famous Gateway telephone call! Oh my gosh! how funny was that?! I'll never forget what you said to her! I'll never forget the look on B.M. face - and I have pictures to prove it. I thank you for being one of the two guys that stayed late that night with me so I could sober up and not allow the third guy to stay with me (we all know who that is). Even though the conversation wasn't a happy one, we laughed about it a few weeks ago and I'm glad you stayed until 4:00 a.m. I was always curious how much money you made (ya-right)! I thank you for doing the most unattractive job at my birthday party: My Main Cook! You sat up on my deck all night cooking hamburgers and hot dogs inhailing smoke and didn't complain once! Your eyes were watering so bad - who would have done that besides you? I thank you for the bottle of Hornitos you gave me as my gift. We always said we would drink it together. I'm grateful that we had at least one night to drink some of it (the last game night). It now takes up space in my china hutch - - maybe one day Dar and I will drink it. I thank you for the ÎGame Nights' we were able to have with all of our friends, you, Dar, Brian, Heath, Jodi and me. The last time we got together was by far the most entertaining - thank you for letting Dar get toasted. You two were so funny! I thank you for giving me hope that there are incredible guys still out there. For giving me hope there are some like you. Even yesterday my dad said to me, "you need to find a guy just like Matt"! I thank you for being so nice to me, to my daughter and to my family - my dad, my mom and my sister. They thank you too for the memories you gave them. The great conversations you had with my dad. The way you made my mom laugh. And they way you and my sister and aunt were talking dirty the night of my house warming party! It was you - it is just the way you are. I thank you for giving me the opportunity to say good-bye to you at the hospital. I was able to see you and hug you and tell you good-bye. I will forever hold you in my heart! I will miss you so much! I know you are in a better place and I know you will continue to watch over your friends - keep us all happy, healthy and safe. I look forward to the day I get to see you again. Your Friend Always, Tina Esparza (co-worker and friend)
I can't shake this feeling of the utter injustice that has been done to the world because of Matt's untimely death. I only knew him through work but I can say without fear of reprisal that he was as good as they come. If Matt was ever in a bad mood, how would anyone have known? Never, and I mean never, a dispirited word. He always had the time to share his smile, his perfect sense of humor, and his passionate love for life with anyone who happened to cross his path. Five minutes with Matt and you knew he was your buddy for life. ...as good as they come, period. Eric Roy (co-worker and friend)
Most of my recollections of Matt are from his coaching. I am not a strong enough swimmer to swim in his lane, or cheer him on during National meets. I am there many mornings at 7 am with the rest of the bed-headed zombies that make Matt's job of coaching more difficult. Not only did he give us a work out, he had to wake us up first. He always walked in with a spring in his step and a smile on his face. Matt would sing the occasional song ( yes, at 7 am) , birthday serenade, tell jokes, and even rock babies! He was always up beat and full of life. I will really miss that. It was a great way to start my day. Matt was a special guy, and touched many lives. I am priviledged to have had such a friend. I hope that all who knew and loved him can spread his energy, sincerity, and love for life. Sue Parker (swimming friend)
I was sitting at my desk one day, distraught by ultrasound images showing deformities in our unborn child. Matt noticed and inquired as to the reason for my distress. He listened to my story and upon parting he said, "I'll keep you in my prayers". Gratefully, my daughter was born healthy. I'll always be impressed that Matt broke through the walls that we men put up around our feelings and showed me he cared. I often feel that we are expected to be machines at work, continuing to produce regardless of what's going on in our personal lives. Matt's actions calmed me and made work seem like a warm place. Thanks Matt. I just know they're going to love you in heaven. Paul Stout (co-worker and friend)
I think the foremost memory I have of Matt speaks to his loyalty and integrity. I had dissed an image that appeared as a background on saltlake2002.com that was prepared by one of Matt's co-workers. Matt, rather eloquently and passionately, wrote to counter my point of view and also to support the work of his teammate. It was an impressive gesture and one that speaks to the type of person he was... Tom Feuer (co-worker and friend)
I don't have any portraits of Matt and me, but I would like to extend my most heartfelt sorrow on his passing. During my time at SLOC Matt was one person that I could always count on to have a positive and humorous outlook on the day and life in general. I enjoyed countless conversations with him as he informed me of the swim team that he coached as well as other conversations about just "guy" stuff. He will be forever missed by me and many others. Van Alford (co-worker and friend)
Matt was a dedicated swim coach who brought a sense of playfulness to the pool. His workouts were tough, but I really enjoyed them. He'd stand on the deck or the blocks and whistle to cheer you on, pushing you hard during the sets. I remember him doing this one morning at a 7:00 a.m. workout. I remember thinking, "Wow, he's got so much energy for early in the morning. He's treating this practice just like a noon workout when we're all a little more lively." Matt was such a likeable guy. There are some people I particularily look forward to seeing when I walk on the pool deck and Matt was one of them. He treated everybody the same. We were all equal in his eyes. I'm sad for our loss. Life isn't fair. I keep thinking, "What a shame for all of us that Matt was taken from us so soon." But I also smile and think how lucky we all are for having known Matt. How lucky we all are for having our lives touched by such a warm, funny, genuine guy. Matt impacted all of out lives in a positive way. I gladly take the past 3-4 years of knowing Matt than not to have known him at all. Matt will live on in our hearts, at the swimming pool and in our memories. I celebrate Matt's life! Cheers! Jen Williams (swimming friend)
Red SLOCs II Slide to Big Win over Rookies By Scoop Workman Wednesday night's late game under the lights at Sunnyside Park started out rough for Red SLOCs II pitcher Matt Walters, Information Services. Before the first pitch he was heckled by the umpire and then the Rookies third batter hit a line drive off his leg. By night's end, Matt would have his say. Trailing by four runs in the 1st inning, Tom Cisewski, Accreditation, hit a 2 run triple that he tried to stretch into a home run but was tagged out sliding into home plate. Next came Sharka Vokel, Environment, who clobbered a line drive over the right fielder's head. Vokel extended her hit into an inside the park home run complete with an acrobatic, summersault dive in the dirt over the catcher who was crowding the plate. Steve Ditmore, Press Ops, followed suit by scoring on a dirt-rolling dive into home plate. Red SLOCs II still found themselves trailing by eight runs heading into the bottom of the 4th inning when sliding became a major theme. New team rally cry: Clean uniforms are not good. Jim Montgomery, Security, slid into 3rd base for no reason. Hannah Hensel, Marketing, slid into 3rd base Ò no reason. Lesley Johnson, Volunteer Information Center, said of her slide into 3rd base that took out the Rookies 3rd baseman, ÏIf they're in the way, you gotta run Îem over.Ó In the top of the 6th inning, the Red SLOCs II trailed by a run and Walters took over the game, recording 2 of the Rookies next 3 outs. Bottom of the 6th, after Frank Zang, Media, turned a single into a double with a dusty slide under the tag at 2nd, the Red SLOCs II were ready to send a memo to marketing: ÏSign Tide as the Official Detergent Sponsor, we need clean uniforms.Ó Zang's RBI scored Gordon Flach, Ticketing. Tie Game Ò going to extra innings. Walters, back on the mound, records two strike outs to end the inning. In the bottom of the 7th, Vokel lead off with a single to right. After the Press Ops tandem of Steve Ditmore and Beth White walked to load the bases, Matt Walters sauntered up to the plate and calmly sent the Rookies packing with a game winning, RBI single to center. Game Over. Red SLOCs II win, Red SLOCs II win! - A 14-13 victory and an 8-3 record. Anyone interested in heckling Matt now?
SLOCball: Good Man Down By Scoop Workman The news hits you like a hard punch to the stomach. What do you mean Matt Walters? Surely, no, not Matt, you say as your stomach tightens and wrenches in knots. You're lying, it's all a joke, right? Don't I wish it were,the reply, you hearing it in disbelief. True. Unimaginable. Unthinkable. Unfair. Matt Walters, Information Services, died Monday, 12 March 2001 of a heart attack. He was young. He was our age. He was a part of the collective group called us. He spoke everyone's language. He was good people. Matt was a fellow you naturally liked. Big smile, joking, good-hearted, always quick to slap you on the back and say hello. Helpful, professional, friendly, considerate. Why is it that bad things happen to good people? All our lives we'll never understand this, it is something that simply is. A collegiate swimmer from Texas Christian University, a proud Horned Frog, Matt was a great web designer and a helluva softball pitcher. A wise friend once said to me that if it's your turn to go, even prematurely, at least go doing something that you love. Matt died at the pool Monday, doing just that, swimming. And while I don't profess to knowing Matt well, I know he deserves better than this. And what of the concerns expressed by so many for his wife Darlene? The suddenness, the immediacy, that in the blink of an eye, we lose someone who just moments before was larger than life. Our hearts and wishes and are with her today. Matt's charm and smile were contagious, his attitude a healthy mix of hard work and lots of fun. The universe is a random act of life. Why does it choose this person and not another to touch our lives with laughter and then offer today's unrelenting sorrows? An explanation escapes all known philosophical doctrines leaving us to wonder how to handle the emptiness left behind by a good man down. We work in an insane place at a crazy pace, but on Monday, we all had to stop and remember there are more important aspects to life: each other. We're a family who's lost a brother. Take a moment from the frenetic and chaotic days we lead to appreciate your colleagues and friends at SLOC for their talents, their gifts, and their uniqueness. Laugh at each other's jokes, cry with your mutual frustrations, cheer with your triumphs, and sing with your joys. Appreciate these days as we work towards making history for each one will never come again. Each day is it's own unique gift, each moment it's own celebration. To my friends everywhere, I offer only this as means to make sense of something illogical and unfathomable. Measure your heart by smiles, not tears. Measure your life by friends, not years. Matt, you made a difference to us all. As a colleague, as a friend, you will be missed. You'll be remembered.
As I sit here a week later and try to write this for the millionth time I can't help but feel a little frustrated. I keep thinking that if I just let one more day go by I'll be able to put it all in perspective or be able to write something that truly conveys my respect, friendship, and love for Matt. Since that hasn't happened I'll just write this the best I can and hope that it's close enough to fit the bill. There are so many times and adventures I remember but to list them all would take pages of text so I'll just hit the highlights and what Matt taught me. I'll never forget the first time I did anything with Matt outside of the Office. It was a friends birthday and we went out dancing. He hadn't been with SLOC for more than a couple of weeks but that didn't stop him from dancing on the rail when I bet him he wouldn't. It also didn't stop him from collecting several dollar bills from all the girls in our group. I learned that night that Matt was a free spirit in every sense of the word. He was always upbeat and happy even if things weren't going 100% right and that always rubbed off on everyone that was around him. Then there was the night he met the infamous "Evil Camera". One of my cameras is a point and shoot model that I swear is possessed. It's taken pictures that no one can remember taking and always gets the shots that no one wanted taken. Matt, Nadeya, And I went out and Matt was our Designated Driver since he had competition the next day. We went out dancing and playing pool then ended up back at Matt and Dar's apartment watching "Aladdin" until we all fell asleep at about 3:30 am. The next morning Nadeya and I were both feeling a bit under the weather but that didn't stop Matt from waking us up at 7:30 am so he could go to breakfast before he had to be to the competition. That's one of the few times I was a little perturbed at Matt and it lasted for all of about 10 minutes before he had me laughing again. The picture in the Gallery of Matt without his tooth is one of them from this night. The other one is of Luzinsky and was never seen again after Dar got a hold of it. This was also the first night that Matt introduced me to the wonderful world of "Hornitos" which would play a part in many of my other memories of good times with Matt. I learned to be careful who you let look at the pictures you just got developed if you haven't already gone through them. Who could forget the Unofficial SLOC Christmas party. A bunch of us got together to exchange gag gifts, eat, drink, dance, and generally just have fun. After some dancing and a little too much "Crystal Meth" (a drink dreamed up by the imagination of Jason with minor input from a few of us) we all threw on our suits and hit the hot tub. Then the next thing I know Matt and Jill are jumping out of the hot tub into the snow and making "Snow Angels". It was quite the sight and I know I for one will never forget it. I learned that sometimes even the most simple of things such as snow angels can bring joy to life. The trip we took Jackson Hole Wyoming to run the Snake River was the most fun I've ever had on a river run. Matt, Dar, Tina, and I drove up together and met up with Heath, Jodi, Andrea, and Andrea's sisters. Matt had the whole boat excited every time we came up to one of the rapids. He'd be bouncing up and down on the boat with his oar raised over his head screaming at the top of his lungs. His enthusiasm also carried over into the Barn Dance back at the Ranch that night and even into the camping area after that. I learned to make the most out of good times and to never go to sleep before Matt when you're camping. Matt and Dar had a great relationship. Everyone keeps saying that but it's only because it's true. Anyone who knew them can tell you how much they adored each other. It wasn't from them saying to each other all the time either. It was evident in the way they treated each other. You couldn't help but see it. Even here at work if we were talking and Dar came up in the conversation you could see Matt's passion for her in his face. I'm not sure exactly how long it was there but Matt had a note on his White Board among all his business notes that Dar wrote. It said simply "I love my Matty. Don't stay too late." and Matt had drawn a line around it with a note that said "do not erase." I learned that some things are important to remember and that whether it's in your memory or written down you should make sure not to erase it. Now let's talk about Tina's 30th Birthday. Not only did Matt play designated cook all night but he also was in charge of letting everyone know when it was time for a "Birthday Shot". Every time someone was having a shot with Tina he let everyone else know so that they could join in. I think this is probably the only party I've been to where there were consistently 10 or more people taking a shot at once every time Tina did. I learned that you could have fun even when doing all the cooking. Especially if you're doing it for a good friend. The last time I partied with Matt was "Game Night" a couple of months ago at Tina's house. Game Night was always just a reason to get together for no reason except to be with friends and have fun. We'd play everything from Monopoly to Mexican Dominoes, Eat, Drink, and almost without fail end up watching Matt dance. His special dance became quite well known and was usually requested at all parties he attended. Game Nights just won't be the same without Matt there. I learned that sometimes the best parties with friends are when it's for no other reason than to be with friends. The final Memory I have of Matt is the hardest one to think about, It was seeing him at the hospital and getting the chance to put my hand on his shoulder and tell him goodbye and that I would miss him. I learned that you should treasure the time you have with friends because you never know how long you'll have with them. Matt, Thank you for all the Good times, the Advice, the Lessons, the Laughter, and for always lending an ear when it was needed. You will be dearly missed and I look forward to the time when I see you again. With the deepest respect and love, Brian Riggs (co-worker and friend)
Matt was the most dedicated and talented professional I've ever worked with and he was absolutely committed to providing the best web solution for the Olympics. Matt received the FITCaP award in recognition to regularly exhibit SLOC's Guiding Principles: Fun and Celebration, Integrity, Teamwork, Communication, and Passion and Pride. He was an excellent swimmer that unfortunately couldn't finish the big race; however, he "swam his life" at full speed. Elmer Benites (co-worker and friend)
Ya know, I have to say sitting here reading all of the stories etc... on the web site that I only wish I had the opportunity to know Matt as well as a lot of you did. Even though I only talked to Matt occasionally in passing at work, I always had considered him a Friend. How could you not when from the moment you first got introduced he treated you as such. I would agree with most of the people that knew him that I can never remember him having a bad day, being in a bad mood, or cranky in any way. I only remember him as most of you do, happy and smiling and usually making everyone else smile with him. The few times outside of work that I had the opportunity to hang out with him were some of my most enjoyable since coming to salt lake. Who can forget (as Tina already pointed out) Tina's housewarming party where he became my secretary and took a few key phone calls for me that night. It had to be one of the funniest things I remember in my lifetime even though I took a lot of heat for it later that night from the party on the other end of the phone (which yes, Tina has pictures of!) I also remember the Golf tournament that Matt and I played in where we had the pleasure of playing in the rain and wondering which of the four idiots in our group would get struck by lightning first! Between the jokes, the rain, the laughter when I had my club fly out of my hands into the water hazard, and you racing the golf cart in the rain like you were in the Indy 500 it made for a very enjoyable day. Matt, you'll be missed by all who knew you well, and even those of us that didn't get to know you well enough. Take care my friend, you'll be in everyone's thoughts and prayers. I'm sure we'll all hear from you soon enough when you get Heaven's website up and running!!!!!! Ben Magee (co-worker and friend)
I am very sorry to learn of Matt's death. I swam with him in Los Alamos for many years and knew him well. His death will be a great loss to all who knew him and my thoughts go out to Darlene and his family. Becky Lane (formerly Becky Fink) (friend)
Matt, I'm in a total state of shock and at the same time, deeply saddened that you are gone. There was so much to do and say. Even though you worked in Utah, and I worked in Seattle, we always managed to keep in touch with a "how are you doing" email once in a while. Thank god for technology. The first time we met, you showed me your tooth, or lack of tooth, I should say. It was one of the funniest moments I've ever experienced. I remember thinking at the time, here was this young guy, my age, with a missing tooth, and he's proud of it. The best part of that experience for me was watching you laugh at your self. It was a moment that clued me into what kind of person you were. There was never a pretense about you. A person always knew where they stood when talking with you. It's obvious to anyone meeting you for the first time that you where a good natured person with an honest heart. Most of all Matt, I want to thank you for your kindness and support during my time of need. You where there for me a year ago, when I was grieving the loss of my friends from the flight 261 plane crash. You told me how you dealt with your fathers passing, and you reassured me that it is painful to lose a loved one, but it will get better in time and they'll never be forgotten as long as they live in your heart. It was good advice Matt:-) :-) I won't forget you. Thanks for everything. Your pal, Tommy Shannon (friend)
I didn't even know Matt and here I am writing something in his memoirs! I am his Aunt Liz's cousin-in-law, and he was the age of my two oldest boys. We may never know why things happen. They just do. Good things and bad things happen to good people and to bad people, too. However, it's more of a standout when bad things happen to good people! Is death so bad? Is heaven so bad? We all want to get there - Matt is just getting there before we do! I'm sure that's not the happiest thought for his loved ones right now, but it's a fact. God longs for us to love Him and to be prepared to see Him face to face someday. Things like Matt's shocking death make me think. I want my heart to be ready for that moment, don't you? I promise to pray for Darlene and the rest of Matt's family and friends - for comfort, for at least some understanding of this unfathomable happening. God bless you all. Cammi Ellis (friend)
Matt and Dar In the last 4 years I knew Matt, I came to love him. I even told him so every swim practice when I saw him. I said, I love you man. He was younger than me but he was very confident and caring to every one. He didn't care if you were the slowest swimmer or the fastest. He really sincerely cared about everybody. I felt lucky to share time with him. I remember the swim, run, drink event he put on. What can I say...he was the best. I love you Matt! Craig Pierce (swimming friend)
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. Henry David Thoreau It seems ironic that I found this quote on the Monday that you left us. It fit you so perfectly. I have tried to write this so many times and I just can't make myself send it. I miss you already... your toothless smile, your great sense of humor, your incredible and oh-so-sexy dance moves, your infectious laugh, your brightness and the genuine goodness you embodied. My love and thoughts are with all of us who will miss you and mostly with Dar, your amazing wife. She too shares the many admirable qualities that we all loved in you... that is what made you the perfect couple. Your love showed me that the fairy-tale we always hear about can come true. She has such strength and insight. In my book, she is a true hero. I am so grateful that I knew you, even for a minute. You changed us all and I am sure you are smiling at us, from where ever you are, with that look of mischievous precociousness, anxiously waiting for the perfect time to take out your tooth and give us that true redneck smile! Jill Beckstead (co-worker and friend)
I'd like to take a few minutes and share with you (Dar) something from Jade: The Monday that Matt passed away my sister picked Jade up from school and they went to the flower shop to get me some flowers. Cyndy told Jade that she could pick out a stuffed animal to cheer me up. As always it was a hard decision for Jade to make but she brought me home a pure white, fuzzy teady bear. Later that night Jade took the teady bear to her room, put a diaper on him, dressed him in a onesie that was once hers (you can hardly see the bear because it is so big) and then brought the teady bear to me. She sat on my lap and with her big brown eyes she said to me, "Mom, I want you to sleep with him (giving me the teady bear) tonight. Hug him tight and say your prayers for Matt." she continues, "I've thought of a name for him too Mom, his name is 'Matty'." Dar, I don't recall a time I ever said to her this was the name you called him. I believe that a "Special Angel" whispered to her this teady bear's name. To this day she prefers to sleep with "Matty" over any of her other animals. She takes him to school with her on Fridays for show and tell, she takes him with us shopping and she buckles him in the seat next to her while in the car. Jade only spent a few times with Matt, mostly bowling nights. But he paid attention to her, he played with her and he made her laugh. She too is sad that Matt is not physically with us but her imagination will keep him closer than ever. Tina Esparza (co-worker and friend)
Dear Family, You probably do not remember me. I am Michelle Bleiweis Hinsley's mom. My name is Susan (formerly Bleiweis) Cornelius. I lived in Los Alamos for many years, was a counselor at Pueblo Junior High and was the Section Leader for Counseling at Los Alamos Lab...along with being the mother of a very active daughter, Michelle. How do I remember Matt? Just before my daughter married Tony Hinsley, her girlfriends -- Lori Hecker, Christie Hall, Susie Godwin, Janet Croasdell, Mindy Van Lysel, Sheila Ruminer, Leah Di Marco and others -- gave Michelle a bachelorette party. To ensure safety for everyone, the girls rented a van. They asked for a person to volunteer to drive. Needless to say, the driver was Matt. As a mother, I adore your son and husband. He was the ultimate gentleman, handing each girl and their mother into the van, watching out after us as we went from venue to venue, and joining me in providing admonitions about having a fun and safe time. He was with us all evening, way into the wee hours. He was always caring, funny, gentle, and he did join in on everything from the jokes, humor, laughter (especially the laughter) and singing to the eating. I told my daughter afterward that if I could adopt a son, it would be Matt. When I heard that he departed this world to join the Lord, I cried for us here on Earth. How lucky is Heaven to have this wonderful man! He is probably there, continuing his mission in this life, helping others. Thank you for this opportunity to remember your loving and loved son and husband. Susan R. Cornelius (friend)
Graced- I was tremendously graced to know Matt Walters- I have lived and traveled to many places in my life, and as I moved to Los Alamos in the Fall of 1994, I thought I was in for what would be just another year in just another place. And as I recall the year in the context of time- it did fly by- but since then, as I have fondly described my experiences in Los Alamos to many people- they can't believe I only spent 365 days there- They can't understand how one place could have affected me so much- and really it wasn't one place. It was one person- It was Matt- Fortuitously, my office was placed next door to his, and we began exchanging story upon story over coffee, and I was engaged by the tone and attitude he had about his life and surroundings. With more time, he allowed me to see the complexity and beauty of his person. He was compassionate, humble, unassuming, sincere, hysterical, honest, and genuinely kind- his view on the world made me happier to be in it. As he walked through this life, I believe he touched everyone lucky enough to cross his path. Quite honestly, it is hard for me to fathom that a heart as big as his could ever fail. I know I will miss him so very much- and so will this world- but I thank God that I knew him and for the time he gave me with him. I am a better person for it because I know that I was tremendously graced to have known Matthew "The Captain" Walters. Lara Heister (former co-worker and friend)
ODE TO MATTHEW I remember the first time I met him That radiant smile glowing from his face Told me a story of happiness, Then he included a hearty embrace. His beautiful brown eyes also reflected that joy As they twinkled and captured my sense of that boy, Because of the strong hug that he gave and Knew he enjoyed giving. Another demeanor I'll never forget Was his height, and the strength in his shoulders, And yet he still was willing to stoop down For that hug and deliver his greeting of selfless love. What do all these signs mean to me as a friend? His life reflected God's love, and I Îm grateful for this Because he showed the way to live life, And these are the reasons he'll really be missed. Christ's love that Matt gave so freely Will never be forgotten. Thank you, God, for letting me be a part of Matt's earthly life. Continue to bless him in your heavenly kingdom As we await the same joys he's been given. Mary Kevin Dodson (family friend)
I knew Matt Walters from the day I was born. Our families were close and my parents were his Youth Group leaders. He was 10 years older than I and like many of my sister's friends, he viewed me as another little sister to pick on. I always looked forward to when my parents were out of town because I went over to his house for the weekend. He always took me out to eat at Sonic, because he knew that I loved Sonic more than anything. After his dad died, I didn't see much of him, besides the fact that he didn't live in Los Alamos anymore. Both my parents and I always looked forward to Christmas time because that was the time I could get to see him or hear about him from his mother. I held a special place in my heart for him because of my early memories of him. The last time I saw him was over this past summer, he was visiting Los Alamos and I saw him in church. He didn't even recognize me at first but he said that I had made him feel old. Here I was, the summer before my freshman year in college, and he always saw me as Erika Martin's little sister who always wanted Sonic. He was one of the few great guys in the world, a guy who always was a kid in his heart. The world isn't as bright as it was when he was here. I know that he is up in Heaven, having a blast and watching out for everyone that he has known. I am glad that I knew him. Megan Cole (friend)
I have the most fond memories of Matt from a childhood of spending every waking summer moment at East Park Pool in Los Alamos. I knew the whole Walters family. And just like Matt, his sister Kari and I were proud to wear the purple and white of TCU. I am so proud that he was the only one with an LT for Heisman sticker in Salt Lake. This is exactly who I remember Matt to be. When I was a child in Los Alamos I was deathly scared of the deep end of East Park Pool. Matt was my swimming coach for years. He never ever made me feel silly, when I was the only 10 year old in the beginners swim class at EPP. I could swim faster, and better than the rest of the class...it was that darn deep end that got me every time. Matt spent extra hours with me every morning in the deep end. Eventually I was able to swim to the center of the pool and tread water holding his hand. Later on that summer I jumped off the diving board. It was truly a momentus occassion. Thank you Matt! You will be missed by all of us that you taught to not fear the deep ends of life. Crystal Trujillo (friend)
When someone we love dies, we are changed forever. Think of the last time you held them and how it felt. Think of your last goodbye. Great souls live on forever so we have no need to fear. They will always live in our memories. They will always live through us in the way they have changed our lives. In even the smallest detail. Let their beauty shine through you. And live forever in you. To my Cousin, Matthew Cornell Walters, 1971-2001 I love you Matt and will always remember you. You always had the answer to any question. I remember even when I was just a little guy, You made me feel so huge. I admire the way you brightened every life you touched. And let us share in that beauty. I know you're up there watching over us. I feel it in every ray of sunlight, And every reflection of moonlight in the sky. I know you'll never leave us. Your soul is too strong and you have too much to do. Too many lives left to impact. Good luck wherever you are Matt. I will always remember you, Love, Your little cousin, Gregory Cornell Tracy (cousin)
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